Skip to main content

On making friends and How to keep them!

From a studious introvert during my school days to having dated over 50 girls in the past two years in Tokyo, I sure have come a long way in making myself more engaged socially. (If you are curious about the dating scene, have a look at that post here!) The progress hasn’t just been towards a higher affinity from the fairer sex, but has been much more wholesome and awarding. So, what did change or perhaps, I was the same likable even in school, just not in the right environment?

Here are my key insights into what essential in keeping your friends long-term and how to make them in the first place. Also included is some general advice on how to meet new and interesting people wherever you go.

- Keep your Promises: If you make a promise to someone, try your very best to keep it. If you are unsure, then say so outright, instead of agreeing to something just to save face and then not committing to what you say. This builds trust and gives weight and credibility to things you say. 

- Borrowing and Lending: If you borrow something, say money, then make it a pact to return it as soon as you possibly can, without raising an occasion for the lender to grow worried and having to embarrass both themselves and you. On the other hand, if you are the lender, trust your friend and don’t let this one transaction get in between your years of friendship. If it’s difficult for you to manage without the lended stuff for long, then say so, raise your concern and let your friend know your needs.

- Be a good and active Listener:

- Be Curious:

- Tell you story, but be Kind:

- Make the Effort: Any kind of human relationship involving two entities should be bilateral. Make your effort to meet your friends as often as possible and be there for them when they need you the most. 

- Don't be an Opportunist: Be with your friends not the wonderful person they are, not merely to procure some gains or opportunities.

- Be Open, Engaging and Deliberate: Don’t be a scheming idiot, prying on people’s secrets. Be open in what you share with your friends, after you have build a certain level of trust. Don’t hide your true intentions or scheme a web of lies, which will for sure come down one day anyway.

- Learn to keep your mouth shut: A mouth that opens to all, loses its hearing capacity. Learn to keep secrets. If someone trusts you with something important about their life, make sure to keep it to yourself. Gossip is good, but not your friend’s or your relationship’s expenses. 

- Honesty is the best policy!

Most of these points obviously are true for any other kind of human relationship as well. 



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Review: Breakfast at Tiffany's

Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote My rating: 3 of 5 stars Hmm... hard to say whether or not I like it. The story is fine. The protagonist is spectacular. And yet, I cannot seem to whole-heartedly be fond of the novella. Parts of the story are fascinating, for instance, Holly Golightly's apparent unreserve with the budding writer narrator. I also like the opening scene which introduces the mystery of where our heroine can be at the moment. The scene brings the reader into the story and somehow or the other, we are entrapped the fast-paced New York of 1940. I would recommend the book as a tranquil read. However, honestly, with the impeccable performance by Audrey, the film version brings forth Holly's persona a tad bit more effectily. The book is outstanding, no doubt, but couple it with the movie session post reading and there you have it - " a top banana in the shock department". View all my reviews

Tokyo House Hunting Guide

First of all, I am glad to know that you have decided to find a relatively long-term accommodation space in Tokyo. It’s a marvelous city and I hope you will have a fantastic time living here ~ The ideal procedure would be to lookup apartments in your desired area on these websites and then go an agency. Most apartments won’t be furnished and will have the initial surcharges and key deposit money, ~one month’s rent. The agency I used for my apartment is ABLE, and I would highly recommend it. I have a contact at ABLE Hakusan, so if you are looking for housing in Bunkyo-ku, near the universities, ping me up and I may perhaps be able to get you a bit of a discount, haha ;) Some relevant links are, https://suumo.jp/sp/ : This is the largest real-estate website in Japan, with the most number of properties listed. Most of the information is in Japanese though. https://minimini.jp/sp/ : The second most popular real-estate website in the country. Suumo is Green, while MiniMini is Red. Both of...

An Ordinary Day

To a majority of us, it is a known fact that some days are actually longer than a day. The day in question, however, wasn't. It was in fact meant to be one of the driest and the most barren of the days. The kind of a day one mostly spends snug on the bed with the largest exertion afforded to the limbs being the quiet finger pressings on a touch screen. And yet, looking back now, the singular chain of events from that day, though ordinary in themselves, assume such a perplexing proportion when taken together, that the day has remained so unequivocally imprinted in my mind. At that time I was working as a JSPS Post-Doctoral fellow in the Department of Physics at the University of Tokyo. I had come to Japan from India as a Master’s student about six years prior and had been living in Tokyo since then. Following the PhD degree, owing to my fascination with the city and in order to satisfactorily sum up my current research, I had chosen to continue at the ...