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On making friends and How to keep them!

From a studious introvert during my school days to having dated over 50 girls in the past two years in Tokyo, I sure have come a long way in making myself more engaged socially. (If you are curious about the dating scene, have a look at that post here!) The progress hasn’t just been towards a higher affinity from the fairer sex, but has been much more wholesome and awarding. So, what did change or perhaps, I was the same likable even in school, just not in the right environment?

Here are my key insights into what essential in keeping your friends long-term and how to make them in the first place. Also included is some general advice on how to meet new and interesting people wherever you go.

- Keep your Promises: If you make a promise to someone, try your very best to keep it. If you are unsure, then say so outright, instead of agreeing to something just to save face and then not committing to what you say. This builds trust and gives weight and credibility to things you say. 

- Borrowing and Lending: If you borrow something, say money, then make it a pact to return it as soon as you possibly can, without raising an occasion for the lender to grow worried and having to embarrass both themselves and you. On the other hand, if you are the lender, trust your friend and don’t let this one transaction get in between your years of friendship. If it’s difficult for you to manage without the lended stuff for long, then say so, raise your concern and let your friend know your needs.

- Be a good and active Listener:

- Be Curious:

- Tell you story, but be Kind:

- Make the Effort: Any kind of human relationship involving two entities should be bilateral. Make your effort to meet your friends as often as possible and be there for them when they need you the most. 

- Don't be an Opportunist: Be with your friends not the wonderful person they are, not merely to procure some gains or opportunities.

- Be Open, Engaging and Deliberate: Don’t be a scheming idiot, prying on people’s secrets. Be open in what you share with your friends, after you have build a certain level of trust. Don’t hide your true intentions or scheme a web of lies, which will for sure come down one day anyway.

- Learn to keep your mouth shut: A mouth that opens to all, loses its hearing capacity. Learn to keep secrets. If someone trusts you with something important about their life, make sure to keep it to yourself. Gossip is good, but not your friend’s or your relationship’s expenses. 

- Honesty is the best policy!

Most of these points obviously are true for any other kind of human relationship as well. 



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